A Lovely Loophole
by Temporary Devotion
Summary: So it was really only a matter of time before the Piemaker dropped to the floor with a heart attack.
1. He Much Prefered Pies

Prologue: He Much Preferred Pies

Young Ned was gifted with many things in his life. He had a lovely mother, a pretty childhood sweetheart, a warm home, and also the ability to bring the dead back to life. However, one of the things that young Ned was not gifted with was the gift of athleticy. Tried as he did, young Ned was never able to throw a ball or to run fast. When boys picked teams for gym, young Ned found he was always picked last, or not at all.

Even as he grew old, the Piemaker never signed up for charitable running events, and when asked to play football with neighbor's friends he would always politely reply, "No thank you." and promptly slam the door.

The only exercise the Piemaker would get was when his recently brought back to life childhood sweetheart Chuck Charles asked him to go for walks, or when he was being chased by murders. Even then, his only concern would be with when he had to stop running, and not that his life may, yet again, be in danger.

The facts were these; the Piemaker, while very skinny, was awfully out of shape. His heart had to beat much faster than other hearts, and not just in the glorious morning moments when he saw Chuck's eyes flutter open, but always.

So it was really only a matter of time before the Piemaker dropped to the floor with a heart attack.

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**The first part of a very quick story. I adore this show, and my idea may be pushing (aha) it, but alas, this is why it's called fanfiction. **


	2. The Day the Piemaker Died

Chapter 1: The Day the Piemaker Died

The day the Piemaker died began like all his other days. He opened up his eyes slowly and turned onto his left side to see Chuck Charles turning onto her right side. He blinked a couple of times to make sure she wasn't dream, and each morning he found that she was, indeed, alive again in the bed next to his. The pair smiled sleepily at each other and continued to gaze at each other.

"Good morning." Ned said, grinning.

"Good morning." Chuck replied, grinning.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I dreamt of my bees." She said warmly. She chuckled before asking, "And you?"

The Piemaker, in fear of sounding needy and too romantic, opted not to tell his childhood sweetheart that as long as she slept beside him he always slept, "Wonderfully."

Then like every morning, the Piemaker would put on his slippers with bells and start his daily routine. The couple decided not to do their small morning tasks together in fear of touching or being touched, and would only do one thing together, get dressed.

Not being able to be as intimate as other couples, Ned and Chuck always took pleasure in what they could. This morning Chuck slipped on her favorite red dress and Ned wore his usual button down and tie.

"Can you zip me up?" Ned grabbed the handiest of his gadgets, that just so happened to be a hand. He grabbed onto the zipper and pulled it up to the top. Chuck let her brown waves crash onto her shoulders and turned around and smiled, "Thank you."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Shoot."

Ned smiled sadly at the girl before him, "I've always wanted to touch your hair."

"I've always wanted to straighten your tie for you in the morning."

"My tie is crooked?" Chuck laughed, put on a glove, and traced her hand down his face tenderly.

He melted at her touch, even if it wasn't really her touch, but the touch of her glove. Even though it was the glove, Ned liked to imagine her smooth gentle hands touching his face. He could feel the heat emitting from the glove, and he supposed that that was better than nothing. Knowing that they were late and pies had to be made, Chuck removed her hand and the glove.

"We should go." She left the apartment and descened down the stairs, Ned followed a safe distance behind her down to the Pie Hole.

Ned put on his apron and went into the kitchen, Chuck went with him to fetch all the ingredients he would need and then leave to hand out the pies.

"Where's Olive?" Ned asked, putting two of the pies into the oven.

"At the beach. She's on a date with Alfredo." Chuck wiggled her eye brows and smirked at the man she loved.

"It's a good thing we're not busy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Luckily for Ned, private investigator Emerson Cod walked into the Pie Hole at that precise moment. Forgetting what Ned had said, Chuck smiled warmly and greeted the private investigator. Emerson Cod smiled for a brief second and then let his face return to the snarl it was wearing when he walked in.

"Hello, Emerson." Ned said, wiping his hands on his apron, "What brings you here?"

"Business and apple pie."

"They're not ready yet, late start today." Ned said, checking the timer on the oven. They still had fifteen minutes. He felt a tingle in his chest, that was more of a nuisance than a pain, however it still made him pause. He closed his eyes for a moment and the feeling seemed to vanish. "Business, you said?" he asked, strained.

"Yeah. Some lady walked in to her house and all her goldfish were dead."

Chuck furrowed her brow, "Not that that isn't a tragedy or anything, but it doesn't really seem like-"

"They were dead because her husband's head cracked it the water leaked out."

"Oh."

"Mmhm. She says foul play, but has no idea who it could be. I was thinking a trip to the morgue. Probably a mistress or business partner. They were pretty wealthy." He paused and grinned, "Which means a big pay check."

Chuck rested her chin in her hand, "Probably won't be a problem. Business isn't exactly booming today. Probably because of the holiday weekend."

"Where's Blondie?"

"The beach." Chuck smiled, "It's so romantic. Her and Alfredo-"

"Another time. We should go while we can."

"Yeah. Ned-"

The duo turned to look at their other companion, but he was not standing where he was moments ago. In fact he wasn't even standing at all.

"Ned!" The Piemaker had fallen to the ground, clutching the material of his shirt tightly. His brow had a slight sweat and his eyes were closed in pain. Chuck went to check his pulse and swore quietly to herself.

Emerson was at her side, much calmer than the ever panicked Chuck. "He's alive."

"Ned! What is it?"

The Piemaker made a gesture to his heart. "A heart attack? You're not even thirty! Is that possible? Emerson call an ambulance!" Ned shook his head. "It's not too late, Ned. It's never too late and you taught me that!" Chuck Charles realized that she was crying, about to lose the man she loved and the man who brought her back to life. Ned used all his remaining strength to point to his sweetheart's pocket.

Chuck pulled out the glove and put it on. She intertwined her fingers with his. "Emerson, can we be alone?"

"Of course."

Once their friend had left, Charlotte Charles began to sob, something she had only done one other time, when he father died. "Ned, can you look at me?" He opened his eyes and saw his beautiful Chuck, "I love you. I love you more than a person has any business of loving someone. I love you, and you're leaving me. I should've made you walk more!"

The Piemaker did something resembling a laugh before closing his eyes in agony. "I love you." She said one final time.

Upon hearing that, the Piemaker squeezed his eyes shut, and died.

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**AN- Next chapter is much happier, I promise!**


	3. A Lovely Loophole

Chapter 3: A Lovely Loophole

Chuck Charles was on the floor crying approximately one foot away from the man she loved. She held onto his hand and was enveloped in the thought that her Piemaker was dead. However, if Chuck was not approximately one foot away from the man she loved, she would have realized that the man she loved opened his eyes again.

"Okay. I'm confused." Ned said, sitting up.

"Ned!" Chuck threw her arms in the air, "I really want to hug you right now, and if I could I would! Emerson!" She called out.

Emerson walked in and did a double take at the seemingly fine Piemaker. Chuck crashed into Emerson instead, and nuzzled the arm she was clinging to. Dismissing the girl clinging to his arm for dear life, Emerson said, "Boy, I thought you were dead!"

"I was. I mean, I am…I think"

Chuck smiled at Ned, still hugging Emerson's arm, pretending that it was actually Ned's.

"Not that I'm not extremely grateful, because I am extremely grateful," Chuck said, "But how is this possible?"

"I think it may be my gift, but-"

"Well I suppose you are always touching yourself." At those words Emerson Cod let out a laugh, earning the glare of the Piemaker and his sweetheart.

The chuckle was soon forgotten however, as the technicality of his gift made Ned stir, "Yes, but with that concept-"

"You should've dropped dead again right after coming back to life." Emerson said. Chuck felt her stomach churn at the thought.

Ned closed his eyes, tight, "This has done nothing for my confusion." He looked at Chuck, still grinning from ear to ear, "But I rather be confused than…you know."

"Dead." Emerson said. Again, he was met with glares. "I'm gonna go. I'll flip the sign to closed on my way out."

"You do that, Emerson."

The pair watched him leave. Chuck got closer to Ned, afraid to say what both of them were currently thinking. Her heart was beating rather quickly, she didn't want to get her hopes up for nothing "Ned…do you think that maybe the gift…stopped?"

"I was just thinking the same thing. I don't know Chuck. When I died, maybe the gift died with it. You said you had some changes when I brought you back, right?"

"Yeah, I taste things differently, maybe for you…" Ned noticed her still gloved hand and grabbed it, "I don't want to get excited for nothing, Ned."

"I know, I know. Me too. You're positive I was dead?"

"You didn't have a pulse." Her hand tingled, just thinking of being able to take that glove off and touch his actual skin. To run her finger through his hair and feel the smoothness of his cheek, and not saran wrap, on her cheek when she kissed him.

"I could get rid of the glass in the car."

"We could hold hands in spring."

"We could cuddle."

"I could straighten your tie."

"I could touch your hair."

"I have to be sure. I won't touch you unless I'm sure." Ned would never be able to live with himself if he caused her to die again. The guilt would drive him crazy. Still, he didn't want anything more than to hold her right now. Kiss the top of her head and tell her that everything's, not only okay, but even better than before.

"Why don't you have a bite of pie?" Chuck got up and brought over the slice of apple that Emerson never ate.

"What if it's some crazy loophole like I can touch fruit but not people?"

"What are the chances of that?"

"What are the chances of me being able to bring people back to life?"

"Touché." She held out the fork to him anyway. Ned took a bite, expecting the apple to turn rotten, but to his delight, it stayed fresh and sweet.

"I make great pie." He said, smiling.

Chuck grinned, "Well, it's a step in the right direction at least….what are we going to do with the inventory?"

Ned's smile dropped briefly, "I'll actually have to order fresh fruit."

"At least we'd be able to share a warm piece of pie on chilly autumn mornings."

"In front on the fire place." Ned and Chuck smiled at each other yet again. Both so happy that the other was undead.

"Wait!" Chuck said, getting up quickly, "Get up! Come on!" Ned got up and Chuck dragged him up the stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"My bees, Ned!"

Ned realized what she meant. He had brought her bees back to life. If he touched them again, there was a possibility that they would stay alive. The stairs never seemed to end as Ned and Chuck ran faster than they ever had before. Chucks feet ached from her beautiful, albeit uncomfortable, heels; and Ned suddenly realized why he had a heart attack in the first place.

They made it to the rooftop panting. The door seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, but Chuck pushed through. The pair was met but the glorious buzzing of the bees, flying about without even realizing how important they were.

Ned pulled her aside and looked into her eyes, "No matter what happens, I love you. Even if things don't go as we want, we should be happy that we can still be together."

"No matter what, I love you, but I still really hope this works."

"Me too."

He squeezed her hand, "Go! Go, go, go!" She said smiling.

Ned walked to the center of the roof. He unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing, revealing the solid black tee-shirt underneath. He held his arms out and looked at his beautiful Chuck.

Then something miraculous happened, a bee landed in Ned's palm. Ned and Chuck stated at it, expecting it to fall over. Instead, the bee buzzed, flapped it's wings, and soared into the air, completely and entirely alive. They watched it fly away into one of the hives. Chuck felt like her heart was going to leap out of her chest, while Ned felt like he was going to throw his up.

He stood in front of her, closer than he ever dared. He lifted his bare hand and held it over her face, feeling the heat radiate from her warm skin. Chuck nodded and the Piemaker gently pressed his hand onto her cheek. She melted into the touch of the man she had loved since she was a child. She felt her face tingle and raised her hand to touch his. They looked into each other's eyes before Chuck let out, "Oh, Ned." and his lips crashed down to hers.

All of the hardships, and pain, and difficulties that the couple had endured that year completely vanished with that kiss. The second time their lips touched was much more passionate than the first time after their respective dead parent's funeral.

Ned pulled her close and her hands traveled into his hair. She pulled and touched as he kissed her, doing the same with his hands. Her lips parted and his tongue slipped in her mouth. She let out a little moan, and it was the most beautiful noise the Piemaker had ever heard.

Finally, they pulled away, both of them needed air. Ned rested his forehead on hers, their eyes closed Her fingers still laid in his hair, while his were at the small of her back, keeping her close and in his arms.

"I feel you." Chuck whispered to him, so quietly that if anyone were standing beside the couple they would be unable to hear.

"I feel you too."

A lovely loophole indeed.

**The End**

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**AN- I told you it was going to be happier! Now, like I said it's a stretch but I thought it was a really cute idea. I was advised to make this chapter longer and I did, was it boring? Too much description? Or still not enough?**

**Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


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